Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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