My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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