sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
