I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
