I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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