True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
