omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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