I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
there is glitter all over my balls
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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