We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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