I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
