let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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