can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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