Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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