Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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