Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
