That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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