is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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