I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
