Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
