What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
