How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
