So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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