I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
