Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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