is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
