Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
