I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
