Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
