do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
