I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
