did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
