I'm drive I can fine osifer
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Randomize
