the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
