sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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