Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
