Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
