Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
