Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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