About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
