What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
