You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
