We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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