the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
