Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
