Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
