He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
