I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
