She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
