perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
