Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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