I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
